A decade of Awesomeness has passed

and I am really at awe at what has transpired after embarking on the SS Universe Explorer in Vancouver, Canada. 

I am SO happy to have chosen a study abroad program that took me to 10 countries in 100 days.  Within the hundred days, I managed to maneuver around the world with just $800 in my pocket and experienced a lifetime of things that only 600 other people will understand. Not only was the timing unusual (we arrived in Kobe, Japan just days after 9/11) but the setting and classes were quite unconventional. Whether you were in Voice and Speech, Film Analysis, World Economics or Astrology class, there was always someone to relate to on a whole other level. Being nomadic and adjusting to your surroundings on a weekly basis was unsettling at first but we were all briefed upon arrival to our designated ports of call and after Japan, we became pros. 

There are too many things to recall, these are just some of them~

*Canada-Meeting my roomies for the first time and realizing later that the boy scout shirt I wore had the same den number as our cabin-Upper Deck 464

*Japan-Going to a sushi place with Davenport, Kao, and Kalina and Davenport asking a group of Japanese ladies (in Spanish) to take our picture. 

*Hong Kong-going to Aberdeen with Annie, Sharon and Wayne and negotiating with a lady to take a tour around the area and adventures in Lantau Island

*Vietnam-Exploring the Cu-chi tunnels with Colin and Jeff and eating pho in the same restaurant that Bill Clinton frequented. Being shown around by the former Miss Vietnam.

*Singapore-

*India-Going to the beaches in Chennai and seeing a Sari commercial videotaped while Raj (my rickshaw driver) does his bobble head move at everything I ask him. He wrote me a few years ago and thanked me for the watch that I gave him to keep track of time to meet his customers.

*The Seychelles-Getting proposed to by one of the guards that watched over our ship after telling me about his houseboat, motorcycle and cooking skills. He pulled the ring out of his sock. Totes Ridics!

*South Africa-Visiting Stellenbosch and Neethlingshof wineries on horseback with Chris, Wayne, Blakeley and Shane and smuggling a small bottle of Rosenlese onto the ship.

*Brazil-between South Africa and Brazil, I turned 21 and Jared and Deep throw me in the ship's pool and almost drowning. Learning Capoeira from a 9 year old boy.

*Cuba-Sitting in a room with a translator in my ear listing to Fidel Castro talk about terrorism, CFC's in the air and the mercury in the fish that the pregnant people were eating and his favorite baseball team.

HAPPY "ITS BEEN A DECADE SINCE WE WERE ALL STUCK ON THE VOYAGE TO WHO KNOWS WHERE" Anniversary. My fondest memories were on that boa...I mean, ship with all of you SASers!!! Much ♥ to y'all!

PLAN A ready to go

LAST August, I traveled to Uganda with Forefront Church as a missions trip to teach former child soldiers, AIDS orphans, and former child laborers. The video above was taken in the L.E.A.D. Uganda house in Kampala with some of the mothers to the students I had the pleasure of meeting and teaching. To this day, it had such an impact in my life and I am going back on July 5th-Aug 9th with a NY-based sustainable fashion company called MUSHANA.

My main purpose this time to work on Product Development for the August market of the NY International Gift show but like the mission trip, I will not set up any expectations and just let things organically flow (rough skeletal organizational plan in place) and relish in the experience. Don't get me wrong, this is a JOB so I will be responsible for reporting on a day to day basis to the fabulous founder of Mushana and like the moniker suggests, "Working Under One Sun", will be my morning mantra. The dude upstairs has blessed me with so many options for the next phase in my life and I am grateful for this opportunity to be here, right now.

Plan B looked enticing but I'm glad I will be living out Plan A and keep trusting the path that was designed just for me.

SUMMER plan B if A doesn't work out

Hey y'all! I have been struggling to make a decision for after May 31st but this suddenly became an option. I hope I get the gig and I will definitely make all my musician friends proud by giving them a shoutout :)

Cheers and Please DRINK RESPONSIBLY!

HESED does not equal BUSY-ness

I have been ruminating about a lot of things as of late and it took taking a break from the busy-ness of my life to realize that I need to STOP. Yes,  stop busying myself with events and meetings with people and just sit with myself and the dude upstairs and have a conversation. The beautiful surroundings here in Airmont, NY is the driving impetus for all this. Even ending up here was, and I know because I certainly didn't plan on being up here this week, orchestrated by something higher and omniscient than myself. Also, a recent email from my pastor, Brian Moll had me thinking of the current series we are observing at Forefront Church called HESED : the consistent, ever-faithful, relentless, constantly-pursuing, lavish, extravagant, unrestrained, furious love of our Father God!
"It is this love, demonstrated through the life and death of our Savior Jesus Christ, which has shaped our lives and made us who we are today — a people filled with joy and confidence who know the source of life, who are living the way life was meant to be lived." -Frank Johnson

My relationships thus far has been lacking the trust that is needed to be placed in the hands of God, and frankly, just GOD period.  To this day, I wonder about how my life would've turned out if I had stayed in Costa Mesa, CA and married my pseudo-ex fiancé. Michael Bublé's "Feeeling Good" just went on in my Pandora and I can't help but feel that the dude upstairs is really tugging at my heart right now. I know that he's got big plans for me and whether I execute them here in NY, Paris, LA, Perth or Kampala whatever it is will be HUGE. The one thing that I AM worried about is that I will go at it alone. I long for a partner to share all of this with but I do not know that I have met him yet. Every time I meet someone new and exciting, our lives kind of separate us due to their "busy-ness". 21 Including the one that I left back in CA. I was a stubborn 25 year old longing for something bigger than what God was planning and I didn't know him then like I know him now. I'd like to think that my faith has always been at a level 10 growing up but it hasn't. Even separating from the comforting arms of someone who loved me was against everything I was programmed to do. Was I letting me drive the wheel or my creator? The very thought of me being here reminds me of Jean-Paul Sartre's, Huis Clos (No Exit). Existentialism is a fickle thing and my duties up here in Airmont (caring for some animals and a beautiful house and car) has me wondering. Why am I here? Why is it that I exist?
I just finished viewing a documentary about 2 brothers and their relationship with their father and the world called: The Human Experience  along with another documentary about the I heart NY creator, Milton Glaser and Original Sin, Billy Elliot, and Salt. Yes, I wanted to maximize my NETFLIX subscription today...and it has made me delve deeper into my ruminations.

Well, with all of this. I am still forced to make a decision come May 31st to rid of all my possessions or to store them and figure out a home base for the next 6 months...I just hope that the people that I meet along the way have a matched faith. They don't have to be Christian, just a faith that their existence is because of a greater good. There are a lot of events that are lined up in my life: being an auntie, helping out with the debut of a Film Festival, Directing, Producing and writing very important stories and I hope I can partner up with the right person to go through all of it with me and still have room for the dude upstairs. In fact, the dude upstairs is the unmentionable partner that will be with me along the way, with or without an actual physical counterpart.

30 years and counting: Observations and Wayward Wonderment: Team World Vision:

30 years and counting: Observations and Wayward Wonderment: Team World Vision:: "Marivic's World Vision Donor Page Yes, I'm only 5 days away from running a half marathon (13.1 miles). Please join me in my efforts to prov..."

Team World Vision:

Marivic's World Vision Donor Page

Yes, I'm only 5 days away from running a half marathon (13.1 miles). Please join me in my efforts to provide clean drinking water for villages in Africa. Click on the link above for my personal World Vision donation page.

Visiting Mbale, Uganda

 I hope you can partner up with me to raise much needed funds for a water filtration system in select villages in Africa. I have been training since November for this half marathon. The last time I ran a full marathon was in 1996 in Los Angeles. I hurt my right patella permanently so I am doing it the right way this time and working with a personal trainer. I will probably be wearing a knee brace regardless of how awesome I think I'll do without one but yes, it would be an honor to run for my friends in Uganda and different parts of Africa.

You can view the course here:
Map of the 13.1 mile run on Sat. 4.3.11


Thanks so much for your support :) See you at the Arthur Ashe Stadium in my running gear!

Jayna T. Murray: May she REST in PEACE (part 2)

Ephesians 3:20-21

 ²⁰ Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹ to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.  

Kelly, Katie and I from Semester at Sea Fall '01 voyage in NYC reunited in Jayna's honor
Photo by: Stephen Shames (www.stephenshames.com)

When I first heard this from my pastor almost a year ago, it hit me like a Mack truck, maybe even a ton of bricks..all at the same time. Being raised Catholic has taught me that I had to pray to specific saints in order to have my prayer requests answered. I couldn't really take it up directly to the dude upstairs. My relationship with God was nullified by the fact that he was WAY up there and I was a mere speck WAY down here. As you read this, I don't want you think I am getting all Christianese on you but my faith has been tested over the last week. I have been referring to the bible more than in all my 30 years combined to find the right words to make whatever I was feeling towards God become sensible. And frankly, I lost it a couple of times. I would throw my fists up in the air and blame him for the death of my dear friend. The old adage of, "Why do bad things happen to good people" crossed my mind more than I can type in a minute, and I can type real fast. 

I am really at a point where I feel I could avenge her death by doing X, Y, and Z but that's not what God would've done if faced with this situation. I am learning that God has a plan for everyone. Our bodies are on loan until we meet him face to face and live in his glory. Yes. Hold on, I know what you're thinking. "LIVE in his GLORY?"...you're treading on Christianese talk there Mar. Whatevs. Call it what you like, but I believe that once we are done in this lifetime, the next one will be SO much more joyful and worth fighting for when it is our time to go home. To the upstairs where the 'dude' is. Call it heaven or the after life with the pearly gates but I have learned that God has our backs. Yes, Jayna arrived at the pearly gates on March 11, 2001. She has gone home and I will join her there when MY time is up here. 

*Let me reiterate verse 20: "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.." 

I have asked the aforementioned dude upstairs to strengthen me throughout this difficult time and I definitely felt THAT prayer request answered. Some lay witness to it last night when I was reading through Ecclesiastes at her vigil where I fought through my tears to finish the verse. I have emailed and called lululemon athletica headquarters and various store managers and PR people along with Jayna's brother, the Mindfulness Center, Safe Horizon , NYC Victims of Crime unit and countless friends who knew Jayna to help sort through my feelings.

For the past 8 days, I have run a gamut of emotions that would rival a menopausal woman or a newly minted mother. Now, I don't mean to undermine those types of people but by being around them in those times in their life mimics the kind of feelings I've been having; Extreme hot flashes from learning about what took place inside the lululemon in Bethesda, fatigue and memory loss from sleep deprivation to get to the bottom of things, worriedness about the future etc. I know. I shouldn't compare my feelings with any one else's but to put things in context and to find a reference point gives me a sense of normalcy when I can't determine which way is up anymore. My idea of a candle light vigil for Jayna grew from Union Square, NYC to Walnut Creek, CA; Beverly HIlls, CA; Washington D.C.; Bethesda, MD; Minneapolis, MN; Cottage Grove, MN; Baraboo, WI; Stavanger, Norway; Warsaw, Poland; Tokyo, Japan. Medellin, Columbia; Frankfurt, Germany; and more are trickling in.

Mother and Son who stopped by the vigil to honor Jayna
Photo by: Stephen Shames (www.stephenshames.com) 

My goal was to light a candle in her honor and help raise awareness about violent crimes against women, as well as men and I hope that somehow we did that. A lot of people were curious about the brown paper bag lanterns that spelled out J-A-Y-N-A and we got some ears perked and attentions caught. One lady from Japan thought it spelled Japan and I told her that if she wanted, I would help her with a vigil commemorating those affected by the 9.0 earthquake. She signed the guest book and left her email with me. I asked for a way to help me get through the loss of a good friend, and in turn, gaining new ones and raising MORE awareness out there.

I have been touched by some of the stories that are reaching my inbox in the last week. I asked Yoko for permission about including hers on here and she graciously obliged. 

Yoko with Danny

Yoko's message to me:
Hi. Thank you so much for organizing this project. I'm a friend of
Jayna from Johns Hopkins and am the biggest fun of her in Japan.

not sure if I am following your idea right. I lit a candle thinking
about our beautiful friend and took a pic at night in EST, which was
bright daytime in JPN. If you want another pic taken at night, let me
know.

I'm sorry for not being able to get a nice appropriate candle. I just
had to dig out my old aroma candle as all candles are currently gone
out of shelf cause people are preparing for the blackouts.

The last week has been really rough for me as it has benn to all other
Japanese but personally, Jayna brought me the biggest shock which was
much greater than the magnitude 9.0 quack... With or without a good
candle, Jayna should know I miss her so much....

Yoko with Danny

MY RESPONSE to YOKO:
Yoko,
I am amazed at your tenacity to take this photo with your adorable Danny amidst the chaos in Japan at the moment. I will pray for your safety and hope that whatever God has planned for Japan will be strategic and with the best intentions.
There was a Japanese woman who came by the vigil today in NY and asked if I can organize one for Japan. We exchanged contact information and are now planning an event to commemorate those affected in Japan.
Thanks again for taking the time to do this. I am sure Jayna is looking down at us and smiling her signature infectious smile.
Take care.
In peace, love, and light~
Marivic

AND THEN AGAIN:
Marivic,

Thank you for your comfort. I evacuated from Tokyo taking my baby
Danny with but leaving my husband behind. Since then things are
turning better for me.  Now we are at my parent's home in Hiroshima
and should be safe around here. We are planning to stay here in
Hiroshima till things get settled, maybe a month or so depending on
how the nuke plant situation goes. I may not be able to attend but
please let me know when and where you would be organizing things in
Japan. Also, if there's anything I can do, let me know.  It's amazing
how Jayna is bringing all of us together. Once she told me that she
believes everything happens for reason. I need to find out the reason
of this tragedy.

 Like Yoko, finding out a reason for the recent tragedy has been an innate feeling to the likeness of a baby's heart beating in conjunction with it's mother's. I haven't stopped my quest to find the truth about what happened last Friday night and even after the arrest of Ms. Norwood I am still searching. For every person touched by Jayna's story, may others come forward to share this as we collectively find ways to support one another. God CAN and DOES things immeasurably more than I can ever ask or imagine. I am laying all my worries at his feet as I maneuver around in my borrowed body. Seeing friends last night who had the pleasure of knowing Jayna was enough for me to be okay for that one moment. Our candles blowing out at the same time during the vigil gave me horripilations (google it) reminding me that spirits are all around us. Jayna's will be felt for years to come, even now as I write this. Your presence was  always markedly known when you were in the room. I love you my dear girl. May we meet again at the pearly gates and bungee jump way up in those big cumulus clouds and give people horripilations. About that SUPERMOON, did YOU have anything to do with that? I don't doubt that you did. I love you and that infectious smile.

DO NOT STAND AT MY GRAVE AND WEEP by: Elizabeth Fry

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am in a thousand winds that blow,

I am the softly falling snow.

I am the gentle showers of rain,

I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,

I am in the graceful rush

Of beautiful birds in circling flight,

I am the starshine of the night.

I am in the flowers that bloom,

I am in a quiet room.

I am in the birds that sing,

I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave bereft

I am not there. I have not left.

Photo by: Stephen Shames (www.stephenshames.com)