Reading about the latest suicide making headlines just made me think of how much responsibility is attached with being a parent. Being female and entering the dirty 30's unwed and sans child makes your inner ticking reverberate louder and louder. Is there such a thing as being READY to be a parent? Probably not. NO financial status, university education, self-made instruction manual or therapy session can prepare you. AS I read about the Ponzi scheme offspring, Mark, I am definitely putting on the brakes to the possibility of involving a child in my life. YES. I am feeling the Angelina-syndrome of adopting a bunch of babies and then hooking up with a gorgeous (married) man and spawning a brood of genetically matched offsprings as we speak, but AM I equipped with enough good tidings to pass on to said itty bitty? Like, seriously. Do my everyday decisions and business transactions reflect what that itty bitty is going to later on emulate? Mark repeatedly denied that he had knowledge of his father's Ponzi scheme but really? How can you be an investor in your OWN father's company and not know that he was swindling millionaires and billionaires of their own hard-earned duckets?
Would my choices to give back to the universe and volunteering my time and resources to my church be seen as altruistic or 'showing-off' to redeem my past poorly-made choices? Not sure what my future kids would think of me as their mother but I am already one step ahead of them. I definitely want to procreate with a gorgeous UNMARRIED man but can we be a couple who will set a GOOD personal example for our itty bitties? I guess I'll have to be careful not to device a Ponzi scheme so that they don't hang themselves in their SoHo apartment.
*NOTE-phrase 'itty-bitty' was inspired by my cherry pie and top 'mo friend: Jeff Dreher. Gracias.
THE POST headlined the story today, read it if you want to:
I am at the other end of the spectrum when it comes to having children...as in, I don't want any. Think I'm too selfish to be a good father. Anyway...
ReplyDeleteReading this post reminded me of a sermon in a different church long time ago, that parents shouldn't focus on what they lacked and make up for it by giving their kids what they don't have, though that's not a bad thing, they should also provide their kids that made them as parents good, upstanding people.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, you give parenthood your best knock and the rest is up to God. =)