Friday, January 28, 2011

V day schmee-day

It's 17 days before flower shops, restaurants, chocolate stores, hotel rooms and greeting card stores get BOMBARDED by, plentyoffish, J-date,,, okcupid and e-harmony types. Yes. Maybe companies like HALLMARK and Godiva and 1800-Flowers rely on this particular day but it really is media-induced. I get it. Who doesn't love getting stuffed bears holding a fluffy red heart that reads, "I HEART YOU." OR a massive box of chocolates filled with highly caloric fillings that makes your ass look amazing? I mean, I, personally am allergic to chocolate but whatevs. It's the thought that counts, right?!?
Maybe I'm just jaded but I am ecstatic at the fact that I have never really participated in this holiday (not to mention all the $ I've saved over the years). Even when I was pseudo-quasi engaged, I never partook or became a recipient of a bouquet of red roses sent to my workplace or sat in a hard to reserve spot kind of eatery or rented a nice hotel with a heart-shaped hot tub but then again, I am not really that girl. I have no qualms or bitterness (well, maybe a little) at this fact but are there any single ladies out there that secretly want all that pomp and circumstance?

If you just said a resounding, "HELL YEAH," I apologize. I guess it would be awesome to be treated like a queen for one particular day out of the year but I have yet to experience that. I don't even remember getting a candy heart in grade school that read, "I like you." or "You're Sweet." I guess there are worse things in life but I just wanted to get that off my 34 C chest. Thanks.

Does it really take all that stuff to let someone know that you love and care about them? Whatever happened to mixed tapes and leaving a little post it note on the bathroom mirror that says, "Good morning. Just wanted to remind you that I love you. Happy SCHMEE day :)"?
 Oh, wait. THAT, I've definitely experienced.
I guess I'll keep my single little heart all to myself until I find the other half that God has designed for me. Until then, I will mingle.

I have no JOY in this contract tonight (oldie but goodie)

by Marivic Guevara on Wednesday, October 6, 2010 at 10:38am

SO, in light of the recent relationship status update (ENGAGED), I regret to inform all of you that it is FALSE. PLEASE KEEP reading though.
Shakespeare says it best through Juliet:

Juliet: "Although I joy in thee, I have no joy of this contract to-night. It is too rash, too unadvis'd, too sudden; Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be(125) Ere one can say ‘It lightens.’ Sweet, good night! This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath, May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet. " Act 2. sc.2

Jay and I have known each other for about 12 years now (since I started Freshman year at UCI) and have been through thick and thin with our friendship and the relationships that we've both had (briefly with one another). We've had numerous conversations about life and partnerships and what it really means to MARRY your best friend and thought it would be great to be "ENGAGED" to each other since we share the same views. Neither of us intended to damage any of our relationships, especially our family but it may actually be the truth a few years down the line. We can truly say that we know each other inside and out, probably more than most of our relationships with other people but it does not negate the fact that we prematurely BROADCASTED our falsified statuses.

One day, this status update might actually be the truth but for now, we will joy in the fact that there is a possible partnership here. It may not be as far-fetched as we initially discussed. But after interviewing couples about marriage and almost finishing up my MARRIAGE or LACK Thereof play, I've come to the conclusion that marriage is the HARDEST job you'll have to do and in a world full of statistics and negativity going against the institution of have to wonder. Is it worth it? I, personally think it is. Finding the right partner for LIFE (because DIVORCE will not be in the vocabulary spoken between us) is a mixture of God's plan and YOUR actions towards finding the right fit for YOU. AND yes, it may not work out and you may have to resort to a DIVORCE, but ultimately, as long as you're open to it (which I wasn't for the latter part of my life) GOOD things and the right person will come. (Learned that in my small group-scripture study last night)

APOLOGIES for alarming you guys and to my family, the right one is in the don't worry. I'll make sure you meet him BEFORE I broadcast it on FACEBOOK. PROMISE.

<3 all of you tremendously. Thanks in advanced for your forgiveness.

Stay tuned for the release of the play that I'm writing :)

30 years and counting: Observations and Wayward Wonderment: JUST BReATHe~ even if I DIDN't end up being the ba...

30 years and counting: Observations and Wayward Wonderment: JUST BReATHe~ even if I DIDN't end up being the ba...: "BReATHe. Simple concept right? (TAT credit to my friend Joe Squadrito) BUT what does it really mean to take a step back and DO just that? I ..."

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The APPLE doesn't fall far from the tree

After spending some time with my family in TX to celebrate my aunt's 50th Jubilee with the St. Dominic sisters, I realize that the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree. Our love for travel and exploring new places runs deep.  I am honored to have spent some much needed quality time with them. I have been traveling for 13 days from NY to Nassau, Bahamas, San Juan, Puerto Rico to Los Angeles and Robstown/Corpus Christi/San Antonio areas and crossed many time zones on a plane, ship, car, bus and now, the Texas Eagle (Amtrak Train) back to NY. I didn't have a plan except to hit up these places where I would find old friends and family and meet some new friends along the way. There was no agenda aside from just being.

The sense of community with my shipmates and the sisters in the convent were similar. YES. You read that sentence right. The common denominator was that we took care of each other. We all consulted each other of the day's agenda and walked through the day with each other in mind. Whether it was through prayer or a toast to signify that we all made it back after 10 years, the foundation was the same. We accepted each other in whatever state we were in (exploring the world, soul-searching, newly-weds, single and ready to mingle, celebrating 50 years of life with God etc.) and we were just IN THE MOMENT. SO much more to report but my train is about to head out and the bootleg wiFI I am using will not be a strong enough signal in a TO BE CONTINUED.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

COULDA SHOULDA WOULDA (50 years as a nun)

This trip to CA is a quickie to pass the time between my Reunion voyage to Puerto Rico and the Bahamas and my trip to Corpus Christi, TX to see my fabulous Auntie Sor Paz. She has been an amazing example of how God works and I am excited to see her celebrate an amazing feat...FIFTY years as a nun. Can you imagine? There was, at one point, a chance for me to spend a summer in her convent when I was in my late teens but that ship has sailed. She was elated to invite me over for a summer even after I replied with, 
"But I've already had sex.." with her sincere response of, 
"That's okay, God forgives."
I mean. REALLY? How cool is she? She joined the convent when she was 19. She will be celebrating her 70th at the end of this month and I am proud to call her my AUNTIE. I, will also be auntie this summer. My 23 year old brother announced a couple of days ago that he and his gf of 5 years are expecting a child. Its fantastic news for me because it kinda takes the pressure off of me to be married and produce an offspring. According to my momma, I should've had my first child at 26, like SHE did but I decided to end my 3 year relationship with a pseudo-quasi fiance (we got matching rings) and moved to NYC. Yup. Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda.

Anyhoo, the direction that my life has taken has been nothing short of a diatribe between God and Science and I am grateful. I've learned so much about the world, my place in it and the people that are currently involved in my life since boarding the MV Explorer...I will catch up on all of THOSE adventures at another café, perhaps in yet another city.


Saturday, January 8, 2011

Sleep to Dream about a perma-vacaystaycation

Inception (Two-Disc Edition) [Blu-ray]

So, right before I sleep, I try and predict what I dream about based on what I did throughout the day and it has been like being on Larium except for the malaria part. I don't usually remember my dreams nor have I seen the movie Inception but I get the feeling that being on this MV Explorer sailing on the Carribean Sea is somewhat reminiscent. I am not entirely sure that I have fallen into deep REM in the last 4 days but my dreams tell me otherwise.
Apart from my desire to go on a perma-vacay wearing only a 2-piece or sexy one-piece with drink in hand and glowing skin, being a NON-US resident has definitely risen in the ranks. My lofty dreams and goals has been, for the most part, achieved in exponential ways thanks to that fire that God has instilled in me. I am in a perpetual gratitude state of mind as I reflect on where my life has been thus far.
My 4-hour long conversation with one of my shipmates has definitely put things in perspective. He is doing partially what I would like to do, sailing around the world with bare necessities and discovering the world one country at a time. I know that my possessions don't possess me but I am kind of a pack rat and have to dispose of, wait for it, 95% of my belongings. Yup. Aside from my collection of jewelry, photos, and a few inherited clothing items from my grandparents, computer and phone, I want to rid  myself of all else at some point. He reminded me that you really don't need much aside from a pair of jeans, a couple of shirts, a computer and a prepaid phone. I guess money would be great too but he got that covered from being a Wall Street workaholic for 2 years. His 15 hour days for 720 straight days has finally paid off.

As a lady immersed in the fashion industries, I don't know if I can pull off a suitcase of a pair of jeans and a couple of shirts. Accessorizing with beautifully-crafted items by my beloved designers/friends is a MUST and I have quite a large collection. There had been a few funerals as of late of family members and notable people and it makes me realize that no matter how much the sentimental value is priced, you cannot take it with you. I would like to be cremated and become a pile of ashes and re-join the universe by being a speck in the grand scheme of things, just like my father. I know that he is definitely looking out for me during this journey and I am grateful for it.

SLEEPING to dream about my life is quite an intense happenstance but at least I'm sleeping longer and more rested that I have ever been in the last year. 2010 has been an exhausting year to say the least. I am preparing for a more rested and chill 2011. Sailing across waters is definitely a great way to start that. Thank you Semester at Sea for being available to dreamers and explorers like me.